Saturday, August 30, 2008

Thinking long and hard.......

For months, I have been researching locs for Cassidy. Lots of reasons why I was interested....but really became interested when she saw a black friend who's hair "hanged down" as she put it, and she wanted her hair to hand down too. Then there is always the touchy subject that we are a multi racial family, and I love the diversity we have in culture and appearance in our home....and I want everyone to be proud and comfortable with who they are, where they came from.......and most importantly how God made them, in His image. Black, white, curly or strait, we are created in His image all the same.
That said, I have 6 kids. 4 biological and white. Richard 14, curly brown hair. Jarrod 12, strait blond hair, Presleigh (girl) 11, long blond strait hair and Bronwyn (girl) 8, strait blond hair. The we have our chosen ones. Cassidy and Zoeisha, both African American girls. Cassidy is 4, Zoe is 2. First time I took Cassidy to a "black" hair salon for a proper style for Christmas, I was told in front of her that she had "Bad" hair. Honestly, I would have rather she spit in my face then to say such a thing to me, right in front of her!! But, from that bad experience, I have learned a lot. I have learned that the black community for the most part are my inspiration and my strength to raise these two angels......but that there are people who don't agree, and that is ok. I need the black woman in my life because I don't know...I don't know more than I don't even know exist yet. I don't believe trans-racial adoption is the perfect choice. We don't live in a perfect world...sin causes circumstances that are hard sometimes....I do know that God knew I was Cassidy's mother from the beginning of time, no matter how it came to be. Mothers have babies they can't raise, they need help and the numbers don't add up when placing children needing homes from a racial stand point.......I see things lost, and I hate not knowing. Now knowing how they feel, not knowing struggles they will face, not knowing when to defend them and when to take their hand and walk away. Not knowing how to tell explain to Cassidy why she feels like people are staring at her....our answer for now is, "maybe they are staring at you because they have never seen a beautiful little black girl with a white mama before!" But I was reminded by a wise woman that God, knowing all along I was to mother Cassidy, gave me and will continue to give me everything I need to raise her and love her unconditionally every single day of her life.
All this to preface hair.....glorious hair!! Never really crossed my mind really when the girls came home. I knew black hair was different, I had a few friends over and was taught in a few days how to cornrow with the best of them!! Baby hair, braids, ballies, zulu!! while they are little......
Then I take notice, everywhere I go at the black girls, 6 years old or so up to teens and almost ALL of them have permed hair. I have to say that is one part of this racial gap I don't understand.....why not embrace the curls like in the 70's!! I love that!! Good Lord, if i take Cassidy out to Target with her hair in a fro, I will have some people giving me looks like crazy! Of course only the black people, cause the white people don't know any different!! I don't know why it isn't ok to wear free hair, and I am always open to listen and learn!!
So, I make sure my girls hair is neatly done, beads and ballies all the time....I know it is culturally important so I feel it is important. But now we step out of the box. We go back to what God gave her, not to worry what others might think.....
Now that Cassidy has decided she wants hair that hangs.,...I have to think. Perming with chemicals all the time? Straiting iron all the time? It just wasn't for we looked into ways to enhance and celebrate her African hair without ruining it. And we found sisterlocks!
I knew right away it was perfect......and Cassidy saw the pictures and was so excited, she wants that, she wants that!!!
So our journey began. I made lots of calls, and around here in the burbs, there aren't many options for black salons, let alone sisterlock techs! So I joined a yahoo group called lovinlocs and was lead to Denise. She is a master trainer for Sisterlocs and is in the city of Phila, about half hour from us. She came highly recommended so we called and made our first appointment for our consultation. It was Friday Aug 22, 2008. I am not a city girl by a long shot, so it was quite an experience! A good one.....I was the minority, I needed that feeling and it was ok.

Denise was great, says Cassidy is her youngest yet at 4, but it will mean she will have nice strong settled locs when she is 6., 7. 8 and starting to want to really do things with her hair. The ways they can be styled just amazes me!! Beautiful!!! She checked Cass's length, curl pattern and texture to see what would be the best approach. She put in 8 tester locs and talked us though everything. I made the appointment and put down a HUGE deposit and next Friday, 2 weeks from our tester locs, and one week from yesterday, is our big day!!

I hope by blogging about having a toddler sisterlocked helps others thinking of doing it early, and I will take tons of pictures of course!!
Here are her before shots!

then test locs day #1 one

Locs after one week and one shampoo!!