Zoe has been, well.........three. She is VERY three. I guess it's normal that there are days I actually cry that my kids are growing so fast. What I wouldn't do to have an infant in the house. Then there are the days when Zoe reminds me that I am fully ready to move on. To be the mom that doesn't have any babies or toddlers. She can tire me painfully, and can wear out the whole family in one night just taking turns keeping her out of trouble, keeping her from screaming, making her feel secure. And it isn't easy.
I made the mistake of "venting" to a few distant family members and one not so distant. Just light hearted talk about how she is going thru that toddler stage that can be really difficult at times.
The responses I got back were heart wrenching to me. It's not a joke, and it's the furthest thing from funny. I take deep offense to these comments about my children and honestly they cause me to feel bitter. I honestly think they meant to be funny, but one of them is a mother! How could she especially not know how hurtful it would be. Both comments revolved around her being a stinker lately (said by me) the the responses were about, "you can give that one back tho right?"
My heart is broken. How can I ever feel the same way? To me that has permanently and forever changed my relationship,.....only God can heal such a deep wound. Please pray.
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4 comments:
I'm so sorry, Tonia. I understand, on many levels...I've heard similar comments, and you know I understand the totally and completely exhausting, unrelenting behavior!
It's sad because you *need* to be able to vent when things are so hard, but I don't say much to family anymore. (I've also heard the "well, you CHOSE this" comments, which are brutal, too!).
Praying for you!
Sweetheart,
Just consider those comments as a PUSH! In other words allow it to make you bond with all of your children even more. Where there is hurt let it be filled with healing and love! (PUSH=PRAY UNTIL SOMETHING HAPPENS)Continue being the beautiful mother that God has called you to be. Remember the enemy does not fight for...nothing. So when there is warfare, there is something special that is being attacked. Now the individual may not know exactly how much it hurt, they thought that they were saying exactly what you wanted to hear. Just stand strong and open to the truth. Let them know through your ACTIONS that you could never desire such a thing of "giving that one back!" Walk in truth. That person was only being used by negativity. Of course as mothers, we have good days and bad days. But what YOU are doing, with the gift of adoption is a beautiful calling. Not only that but to love wholeheartedly children of a different race, background and culture is a lot to be admired. Some people are not going to understand or respect that for that matter. Unfortunately some people no matter who they are are waiting for you to show ANY signs of weakness or frustrating. At the same time not realizing no matter if the child/children were your natural born children or not, you would still feel tired, frustrated, and weak at times. Don't waver, don't be afraid, but PUSH Zoe for excellence with Love in Jesus' name. Continue to embrace all of your children as you rely on the Holy Spirit's strength. Stay Strong my sister. (check out a song on my site called, "I Need More" by: Crystal Aiken I hope that you will feel encouraged.
Lady Butterfly
Ouch!That is so unkind!It's really not funny.
Arrrgh people can be so insensitive. These are your children biological or not. If someone said something ludicrous like that to them Im sure they'd have a fit. I'll pray for that person and most importantly pray for your strength. Ive had relatives and so called friends tell me so much about my son and his mental health issues that I would surely be in an insane asylum had I listened to some of the negative and counterproductive things they had to say.
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